Co-regulation is where two people can calm and balance each other’s nervous systems when communicating, creating a positive feedback loop of feeling safe and connected. It’s skillful body-to-body communication.

Co-regulation is essential to prevent conversations or arguments from turning into distressing fights. Conflict is healthy and generative if we can stay safe and connected; it’s destructive if it turns into feeling unsafe or like there’s a rupture in the relationship.

When we can soothe each other’s nervous systems throughout a conversation, understanding and negotiation of both people’s differing contexts and needs become possible.