If we want safe and attuned relationships, we have to be willing to take responsibility for both our intention and our impact.

The practice is to compassionately look at how someone else is affected by how we’re showing up. It doesn’t mean getting overtaken by guilt if we’re unskillful, but to be gentle with ourselves and keep adjusting and learning.

The easiest way to tell what our impact is? Just ask the other person. “How are you feeling? How is what I’m saying or doing landing with you?”

Listen to the answer with not only your mind but your body as well - look, feel and sense the response. Paying attention with our whole being is how we start to cultivate attunement.